Every child deserves a story of belonging. Anyone can help write that story.
Whether single, partnered, married, LGBTQ+, or building your own version of family, everyone is welcome.
Like foster and adoptive parent Tim McElveen, who is sharing his road to parenthood in hopes others will follow him and help provide a forever home to a child who needs it.
In His Own Words
As told by Tim McElveen
I have always been a family-oriented person.
When my teenage sister had her first baby at 17, as the big brother, I stepped in to help her with her new baby and ensure that she was still able to graduate from high school. I didn’t know at the time, but that situation was the start of something bigger and greater down the line.
Confronting Stereotypes
In 2018, as I was watching television, I saw a commercial regarding children that were in foster care nationwide and how there were not enough foster parents to help with the amount of children who were displaced and needed forever homes.
The story saddened my heart and I didn’t know if there was anything that I would be able to do. I was under the assumption that in order to be a foster parent you had to be married. And secondly, I am a gay Black male.
With the stereotypes and judgements that are placed on people in the LGBTQ community, there was no way I thought I would be allowed to be a foster parent. Little did I know how wrong I was.
Stepping Out on Faith
I prayed about wanting to be a foster parent and decided to step out on faith. I did some research with Mecklenburg County Youth and Family Services about becoming an adoptive parent.
After being accepted and taking the required classes, I found out that you can be a single parent. But I never said anything about my sexuality because I was afraid of being judged. As bad as I wanted to become a parent, I didn’t want my preference to hinder me from doing so.
“OK”
It wasn’t until we began the home study and I spoke with my social worker, where I needed to provide more information about myself and my home.
At that time, I just had to lay it all out on the table and let her know “this is me and this who I am.” All she said was “OK.”
She explained that it doesn’t matter what my sexuality is—all that matters that you are able to provide a child with a loving, safe, and nurturing home. A home where they can feel welcomed and part of a family.
A Weight Lifted
It felt like a weight lifted and I got even more excited about the thought of being someone’s Dad.
I went into this journey only wanting two kids—a boy and a girl—and that was it. It’s amazing how we think we know what we want, but God has a way of doing his own thing when we least expect it.
I Needed Them More Than I Ever Knew
I became fully licensed as a foster parent in 2020 and during that time I have had a total of nine children come through my home, all of which were boys. Of those nine children, I am currently the foster or adoptive parent of four. I have completed the adoption of two boys, and now working on adoption number three. Prayerfully, I will soon be working on my fourth and final adoption.
I thought during this process that these children needed me. But it turned out that I needed them more than I ever knew.
Write Your Own Story
You can give a foster child a new beginning of their own. Learn more at MeckNC.gov/KIDS or call 704-336-KIDS (5437).
